b i r t h d a y !

And it has passed. 

Last Sunday I happened to be a witness of my anniversary. A causer of my 30th year celebration. 

When I was a teenager I knew that something is going to be way much different once I get 30. I thought I was going to be sad and cleaning tears off my face which would get wrinkled soon. 

However, it did not happen! I’ve understood that once I was young I didn’t have as much as I have at this very moment! Experience, emotion control, appreciation of beauty and aesthetics all around, self-confidence, wholly new attitude- it’s all worth of spreading around. That‘s it. I don‘t want to come back to the times when I was a young chick, when I was twenty-something. Ticking over without finding a place, lost paths and all time spent on searching for who you are, being tired of thinking what‘s right to be spoken and done... This endless blushing and lack of experience. This trying too make everybody like you... Yuk! 

Now I have all I dreamed of. Mine, my own life! The one I was creating for 30 years and now I have it as a work of art in my own hands! There have been heaps of mistakes, a lot of moments of shame, small and also significant nuances, which I don’t want anybody to be aware of. However, I’ve learnt to live with them, wake up every morning with them, and make myself think it is an ESSENTIAL part of all the events which have led me here, at this current point of life, at this point where I am finally myself. 

I‘ve met many people in my life which tried to convince me I was not going to achieve anything, I was not going to earn anything and many of them tried to prove I was not beautiful. 

For now, I have outgrown all these clothes of complexes and I only happen to laugh at what people can do and talk out of jealousy. I am perfect: perfect for myself, perfect for my husband and children. I own the exact amount of perfection which I need. 

I have the most wonderful husband, who is fascinating me every day, who is a little bit inapproachable still, who knows how to amaze me moderately but precisely, who does not see another women but me, or who sees another woman only to show me that he is wanted not by me only. 

I have the most magnificent children, who are the policy makers and do not allow me to sit down and enjoy the life sluggishly. 

I have the most marvelous parents who taught me to reach everything by myself. 

I have the best brother, who has always been better and smarter than me, and who has helped me to keep the balance for many years in my life. 

I have a stunning friend and I want to have more of them, because now I know, what meaning best friend has! She or he says truth, does not try please you, he/she strokes your head when you need it, he/she never envies. 

I have my favourite working routine, which carries me to the fields dreams,meadows of creativity and floats me to the oceans of business! Sometimes I don’t get anything there, but it’s so interesting! 

I have my own life for which I am thankful of to all my surroundings: to the ones who have hurt me, who have pushed me, who yet love me and who care for me! 

Thank you all! 

I love you